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I forgive myself for the times I was too loud, obnoxious, annoying, grouchy, surly, mean. I forgive myself for the times I was a bad communicator, afraid to be honest, a liar. I forgive myself for trying to bend myself into shapes I couldn't fit in, for growing tired of the contortion, for the resentment toward other's when I thought they were the ones keeping me bent. I forgive myself for seeking love externally in places I didn't belong, ignoring boundaries, complicating fr

I am teaching myself how to believe again. I grew up in a Christian household. We went to Sunday morning service (we were always late and interrupting prayer). Youth group was an almost constant Wednesday night activity, and most of my socialization happened under the roof of a church. There was something so confusing about church, it could be the most soothing experience but it came riddled with shame, judgement, and power dynamics I had no idea how to navigate. I felt the o

People have been really frustrating to me lately. Which is to say I've been really frustrated with myself. lol I think what I'm experiencing is a phenomenon that happens when you raise an autistic kid with a lot of energy and you must teach them how to regulate their nervous system....and then you interact with adults at work or school or at the bar who are in need of nervous system regulation, but they can't recognize it let alone do anything about it. So many of today's adu